Family, friends & acquaintances frequently ask, "How can you do it?" Perhaps you're wondering too. Perhaps especially now, realizing this is not a one-time, thrill-seeking trip, but an all-out, whatever-it-costs lifestyle for us. The answer comes in three parts. First of all, I have very little responsibility in this. Secondly, the weight of my limited responsibility is carried by Jesus. Thirdly, I can't not do it.
It just looks like I'm doing a lot because I'm the one who gets to type blog entries. Yeah, seriously. The truth is I'm a very small part of a whole body of people in on this gig. I'm in partnership with lovely, loving people who make it possible for me to attempt my small part by doing their small parts. Some help prayerfully plan & prepare for the stays in Cambo. Some pray earnestly & diligently for me, my family, my Cambo siblings, the folks I work with in Cambo & the country as a whole. Some lend moral support, give encouragement & offer great advice via phone calls, email & periodic goodie boxes. Some stay in touch with my loved ones here (I do mean physically in touch; they actually come to the house) so they'll remember that they're loved & that their sacrifices are recognized. Some communicate with others to promote the work we're doing. Some invest money in materials & projects we have going in Cambo as well as my travel & keep thru collecting donations by a variety of means as well as contributing from their own resources. One turns my emails to her into a real blog. Some minister to me upon re-entry too. If I'm the face, they're the backbone in this body, to be sure.
My responsibility is to minister the generous grace & loving goodness of Jesus Christ to Cambodians. It's not my generosity, not my grace, not my love, not my goodness, but aaaaall His. I'm just a conduit between Jesus & people. He carries the lion's share of the ministry. All I have to do is remain devoted to & dependent upon Him; He does the rest. He's cool like that. And yeah, it is just that simple. Bearing in mind that simple is not synonomous with easy & the effects of being a conduit can really zap ya' sometimes. Hahahahahahaha!
The bottom line is I can't not do this. This is what Jesus wants me to do, I know that I know that I know. The real question for me is not how can I do this, but how can I say no to God? How can I deny Him anything? He is God. And, He's been sooooooooooo good to me. And, I am so crazy in love with Him. How can I not?
I think the most interesting thing about this question I'm so frequently asked is the question behind the question. I'm completely convinced that what those people are really asking is: Could I do it? Aaaaaand, the real question is not even could you, but only would you. Would you do your small part in partnership with a group of folks like yourself who're doing their small parts? If you're willing, God is able – guaranteed. It's written in blood.
12/30/10
HALLELUJAH!
~Dave is making a strong & speedy recovery!
~We have compassionate, enthusiastic, faithful supporters! (I am eternally grateful for the privilege of being your partner, you lil' dolly-dolls!)
~People are obeying God when He says, "Go hand Becky money." That's crazy-cool, eh?
~God's brought us to some EXCELLENT training materials to help us as He expands this branch of ministry. (All for You, God!)
~God does the sweetest little things to remind us of His affectionate attention toward us, doesn't He?
~I've experienced a very fruitful time of "review-recover-respond" in dealing with re-entry depression! That one gets a halle-tootin'-lujah!!
HELP!
~Yup, those treasured souls who snagged my bag & hi-jacked my ID. Keep on. For Jesus' sake, keep on.
~Ask the Lord of the harvest to call on more workers.
~Remember those "in the field" as post-holiday time can be an especially difficult time to be in there.
~Pray that I may be completely receptive as the Lord prepares me to return to Cambo-land.
~Please, join us in praying for the expansion I think God has planned for our hometown's involvement in foreign & domestic missions.
PERSONAL NOTES
Hey Peter, hope you're still reading & still arguing with yourself about what you read here. Most of all, I hope you're finding the Answer to your arguments. If you had a two-way line of communication here, we could "talk" about it all.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Incoming
I thought I'd escaped the re-entry depression that's typical for incoming missionaries. I thought my atypical return was a sidestep around it. Nope. There I was in a christian bookstore the week before CHRISTmas & blam-o! I was overwhelmed by the contrast between the life I know in the United States of America & the life I know in the Kingdom of Cambodia. It was bound to come, I suppose. That's why we call it "typical," eh? I'm thankful to God for the delay tho'.
Now that my husband Dave is out of the hospital & well on his way to full recovery I am better able to cope with the depression & to give time to finding useful meaning & hopeful motivation in it. So, I pray & I ponder & I pout a little.
It is not at all unusual for incoming missionaries to wrestle with feelings of guilt & frustration over the abundance we have at our disposal at home, the abundance we take for granted, the abundance we demand, the abundance we waste. We measure our leisure spending such as eating out, going bowling or renting a movie in terms of needs that could be met in poverty-stricken areas we've visited. When I bought a package of socks for myself, I didn't reckon the price as $6, but as 12 kilos of rice. It's also not unusual, especially for short-term missionaries like myself, to make vows we will not keep after returning from an impoverished area. For instance, every missionary I've had contact with here in the States (maybe a dozen) has mentioned feeling guilty for having so much food available & many have vowed to never waste food again....but we do.
With these & similar thoughts bombarding our souls, it can be a challenge to socialize in the usual manner. It is difficult to muster genuine sympathy for a friend who gripes about having to go to three stores to find the game her child wants for CHRISTmas while remembering the infant who perished because his mama was too malnourished to produce enough milk to sustain him. It is hard to hear a friend explain that he simply cannot afford to donate to charities while he's paying $6 for a cup of coffee & a doughnut. Harder still, to fully enjoy the $6 cup of coffee & doughnut purchased by & for the missionary. (Combined, that's enough to feed 25 villagers, by the way.) And, on a personal note, I've had a change of heart about immigrants & aliens learning to speak english if they intend to live here in the U.S. Yeah, they should AND we should make it as easy as possible. Having lived in a foreign country, I promise you that every foreigner here wishes s/he could speak english at least as much as you wish they could.
These thoughts & comparisons & evaluations have to be prayerfully pondered & biblically balanced. It's very important to make an immediate move on the conclusions we come to too. The longer we put off action, the easier it becomes to put off action. Whether we try to gain from it or not, the depression fades & the frustration is forgotten. Before long, we're griping about minor inconveniences endured for trivial things & wasting resources (aka gifts from God) even as we commisserate about not having enough. The whole experience beomes little more than interesting stories to tell at parties.
So, I pray & I ponder & I pout a little. And I plan what to pack for the next trip. I have a plane ticket to Phnom Penh for 2 February.
Now that my husband Dave is out of the hospital & well on his way to full recovery I am better able to cope with the depression & to give time to finding useful meaning & hopeful motivation in it. So, I pray & I ponder & I pout a little.
It is not at all unusual for incoming missionaries to wrestle with feelings of guilt & frustration over the abundance we have at our disposal at home, the abundance we take for granted, the abundance we demand, the abundance we waste. We measure our leisure spending such as eating out, going bowling or renting a movie in terms of needs that could be met in poverty-stricken areas we've visited. When I bought a package of socks for myself, I didn't reckon the price as $6, but as 12 kilos of rice. It's also not unusual, especially for short-term missionaries like myself, to make vows we will not keep after returning from an impoverished area. For instance, every missionary I've had contact with here in the States (maybe a dozen) has mentioned feeling guilty for having so much food available & many have vowed to never waste food again....but we do.
With these & similar thoughts bombarding our souls, it can be a challenge to socialize in the usual manner. It is difficult to muster genuine sympathy for a friend who gripes about having to go to three stores to find the game her child wants for CHRISTmas while remembering the infant who perished because his mama was too malnourished to produce enough milk to sustain him. It is hard to hear a friend explain that he simply cannot afford to donate to charities while he's paying $6 for a cup of coffee & a doughnut. Harder still, to fully enjoy the $6 cup of coffee & doughnut purchased by & for the missionary. (Combined, that's enough to feed 25 villagers, by the way.) And, on a personal note, I've had a change of heart about immigrants & aliens learning to speak english if they intend to live here in the U.S. Yeah, they should AND we should make it as easy as possible. Having lived in a foreign country, I promise you that every foreigner here wishes s/he could speak english at least as much as you wish they could.
These thoughts & comparisons & evaluations have to be prayerfully pondered & biblically balanced. It's very important to make an immediate move on the conclusions we come to too. The longer we put off action, the easier it becomes to put off action. Whether we try to gain from it or not, the depression fades & the frustration is forgotten. Before long, we're griping about minor inconveniences endured for trivial things & wasting resources (aka gifts from God) even as we commisserate about not having enough. The whole experience beomes little more than interesting stories to tell at parties.
So, I pray & I ponder & I pout a little. And I plan what to pack for the next trip. I have a plane ticket to Phnom Penh for 2 February.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Re-entry reflections
Well, this has been a strange re-entry. I've been spared most of the usual re-entry culture shock by going straight from airport to hospital & staying there virtually the entire two months I've been here. There have been enough "shocks" to make me think tho'. Some shocks are minor & really quite pleasing while others are overwhelming & troubling.
It was a little shocking & a lot pleasing to land in the States. Those of us blessed with the passport of power (U.S. citizen passport) are given first-class treatment even if we arrive on a coach ticket. It was also a bit of a shock & a real tickle to realize I could understand every word every person spoke to me & could read every sign I passed. And, I cannot tell you how surprised & pleased I was to find bathroom tissue in every stall & towels or blow dryers at every sink. Our son's girlfriend laughingly reminded me that every stool comes stocked with tissue when she noticed me stuffing the napkins from our fast-food bags into my purse. A habit she recognized from her visit to Cambodia, for we all saved such "emergency paper" knowing we'd be glad of it next time we stepped up to a squatty potty.
I was overwhelmed at the obnoxiously ridiculous amount of advertising ev-e-ry-where & the ridiculously obnoxious content of advertising.ev-e-ry-where. If I were a newcomer to America I'd swear the country's slogan must be, "But wait! There's more!" More indeed! I was flabbergasted at the extra-large portions served at restaurants & aghast at the amount thrown away without a second thought. Not to mention the overwhelm I've experienced while looking at menus. Good gravy, there are dozens of options for every appetizer, snack, meal & dessert a person may order.
Just as I've become accustomed to hoarding paper napkins & limited food choices, I've become accustomed to people turning away from those in need. I've been overwhelmed with gratitude & happiness at how quickly the Church rallies to take care of one of her own here. We have been surrounded by people caring for our every need & convenience. The power of active compassion influences even those who do not directly benefit from it. Simply witnessing people care for others has an impact. Whether people are inspired or just puzzled by acts of mercy & generosity, they are thinking about it. They can't help but wonder why people behave so. We can put a name, the Name, on their wondering. We can tell them the why is actually a Who & His name is Jesus. What opportunity! What a great time to introduce people to Jesus & say, "But wait! There's more!"
12/13/10
Praise God for...
~those sweet souls who pray for others diligently!
~putting the ability to heal within the human body.
~modern medical technology & those who are brave enough to use it.
~modern communications technology that keeps us connected when we can't be face to face.
~always providing everything we need.
~His inexplicable peace!
Petition God for...
~the redemption of those dear souls who nabbed my bag & hijacked my ID.
~the revelation of Himself to others thru Dave's ordeal & recovery.
~"field hands," for the harvest is ripe.
About Dave:
Dave had two heart valves replaced successfully & is recovering. We very much appreciate the loving support we've received over the last month. We are thrilled with the opportunities the Body's taken to show Jesus to those who are serving in the hospitals we've been in. We are looking forward to enjoying Cambodia together as soon as possible.
It was a little shocking & a lot pleasing to land in the States. Those of us blessed with the passport of power (U.S. citizen passport) are given first-class treatment even if we arrive on a coach ticket. It was also a bit of a shock & a real tickle to realize I could understand every word every person spoke to me & could read every sign I passed. And, I cannot tell you how surprised & pleased I was to find bathroom tissue in every stall & towels or blow dryers at every sink. Our son's girlfriend laughingly reminded me that every stool comes stocked with tissue when she noticed me stuffing the napkins from our fast-food bags into my purse. A habit she recognized from her visit to Cambodia, for we all saved such "emergency paper" knowing we'd be glad of it next time we stepped up to a squatty potty.
I was overwhelmed at the obnoxiously ridiculous amount of advertising ev-e-ry-where & the ridiculously obnoxious content of advertising.ev-e-ry-where. If I were a newcomer to America I'd swear the country's slogan must be, "But wait! There's more!" More indeed! I was flabbergasted at the extra-large portions served at restaurants & aghast at the amount thrown away without a second thought. Not to mention the overwhelm I've experienced while looking at menus. Good gravy, there are dozens of options for every appetizer, snack, meal & dessert a person may order.
Just as I've become accustomed to hoarding paper napkins & limited food choices, I've become accustomed to people turning away from those in need. I've been overwhelmed with gratitude & happiness at how quickly the Church rallies to take care of one of her own here. We have been surrounded by people caring for our every need & convenience. The power of active compassion influences even those who do not directly benefit from it. Simply witnessing people care for others has an impact. Whether people are inspired or just puzzled by acts of mercy & generosity, they are thinking about it. They can't help but wonder why people behave so. We can put a name, the Name, on their wondering. We can tell them the why is actually a Who & His name is Jesus. What opportunity! What a great time to introduce people to Jesus & say, "But wait! There's more!"
12/13/10
Praise God for...
~those sweet souls who pray for others diligently!
~putting the ability to heal within the human body.
~modern medical technology & those who are brave enough to use it.
~modern communications technology that keeps us connected when we can't be face to face.
~always providing everything we need.
~His inexplicable peace!
Petition God for...
~the redemption of those dear souls who nabbed my bag & hijacked my ID.
~the revelation of Himself to others thru Dave's ordeal & recovery.
~"field hands," for the harvest is ripe.
About Dave:
Dave had two heart valves replaced successfully & is recovering. We very much appreciate the loving support we've received over the last month. We are thrilled with the opportunities the Body's taken to show Jesus to those who are serving in the hospitals we've been in. We are looking forward to enjoying Cambodia together as soon as possible.
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