Fill 'er up

I finally took a much needed break! I've been running on fumes the last couple of weeks & just didn't have it in me to go much further. I spent the weekend on the coast in Sihanouk Ville with friends who live there. Boy oh boy, did I get a good refill! I was so well loved that I am filled to overflowing again!

Especially after leaving the last depressing entry hanging here for so long, I want to tell you a little bit about my wonderful holiday. The whole weekend was absolutely grand, so it's difficult to choose highlights, but I'll do my prayerful best. I didn't take any photos because I know a camera simply cannot do justice to the experience. A diminished image seems an insult to it. The images are engraved in my heart, where they carry the full impact of the moment tho'.

First of all, it was incredibly heartwarming, & actually mindblowing, to receive the unbelievably joyous greetings I was given. Lots of squealing & squeezing, kissing & carressing, hand holding & happy tears. I could not have been welcomed with any more excited glee if I were carrying a big, carboard Publisher's Clearinghouse check! Where everyone really needs & everyone wants me to fill those needs, it is a soul-refreshing blessing to be desired for no more than my presence.

I have become acquainted with my friends thru doing business with them. A few operate the guesthouse I stay in & a couple others are tuk tuk drivers who've introduced me to their family (of 18 members living together in a small, three-sided house they built themselves). God has given us such sweet soul ties that I am not considered a customer anymore & they are by no means service providers to me. Sopha (so-FWAH), the 15 year-old guesthouse hostess calls me Mamma & we cry on each other's necks when we meet & when we part. Mr. Sothea (so-TEE-uh) the guesthouse manager told me, "you are very-good-to-warm-my-heart friend." Ditto to Mr. Sothea. Ly, the most darling & precious friend I have in Cambodia, drives a tuk tuk for a living. He expressed the greatest honor & deepest love by informing me-& showing me!-that I am no longer a customer or even ordinary friend but a no-pay friend.

My first puzzling experience as a no-pay friend came at the house of Ly's friends when they were reluctant to accept money after preparing me a costly & elaborate feast. As I've said, food is the most precious commodity here. Giving someone food is like handing over your checkbook here. When I asked Ly about he said, "When you in Cambodia maybe one year or two year, you will know Cambodia way. Some must pay, some not." He explained that no-pay friends are entitled to everything you possess or have access to & they are never obligated to repay the cost or even return the favor (tho' out of mutual affection they usually do). As we talked more about "Cambodia way" my heart warmed when he said, "You good friend, no pay me & no pay my friends ." On his word, I am entitled to anything or everything his family & friends have or can lay hold of...without owing them anything in return! Thing is, part of Cambodia way is that you cannot earn that kind of friendship. You cannot give & expect to receive in return. No-pay friend status is given me (& others) because, as Ly explained it, "I know your heart. I see your behavior. You no pay." It's a matter of character. My character, yes, & I am indeed incredibly honored, but moreso Ly's character & I am indeed incredibly loved
.
At one point in the most wonderful weekend I've lived since I don't know when, Ly took me to a secret beach. That is, a place unsullied by the tourists & hawkers & the awful, ugly, noisy messes they make. Ly really does know my heart & proved that clearly when, as we stood on the shore, he softly said, "You can like the sea & the islands & the beach," then walked away to leave me in much-needed solitude. I walked in & out of the water along the shoreline for a long time praying. When I finally squatted just beyond the water's reach, all talked out, I began to truly "like the sea & the islands & the beach" & God whispered in my spirit rather nonchalantly, "I spoke all this." I was got. I was overwhelmed with who God is as if I'd just heard the truth for the first time. He spoke all that. Wow. Then He really blew me away, "Just let Me love you. Humble yourself to receive. Just let Me love you." I squatted a good while longer taking in the message. Ly approached & squatted next to me for a long time. We just liked the sea & the islands & the beach together in silence. We simultaneously rose & headed back to the motorcycle. Down the road a short piece he broke the silence, "You can be happy now? If you happy, I happy. You no happy, I cannot happy too."

I replied, "Jaaaa, I am happy now."

His thrilled response was, "Ooooooh SO good! I am very, very happy! And you speak Khmer! Make me happy!" ("Ja" is the female "yes.") We both laughed loud & long just out of sheer happiness.

Ly also took me to a secret waterfall during "the wonder weekend." We had SUCH a blast with the 20 or so Cambodians there. We laughed & splashed & hooted & slipped around & played behind, in front of & right smack in the middle of the awesomely gorgeous & powerful waterfalls. Being the obvious newbie there, everyone wanted to show me tricks & thrills to enjoy...& to take photos of me. Hahahaha! After playing long enough to get chilled, I sat on a flat, dry spot in the sunshine away from the crowd. I sat in amazement at the beauty & power of the falls, of the One who created them-the One who spoke them, the One who gave me no-pay friend status just to love me.