I've just about tied up all the loose ends here. Just have to do my part in helping to prepare a project here, see the doctor (he wants to put disease in my perfectly healthy body, aka booster shots), put my clothes in the box I plan to take, show up for a prayer meeting, which should be easy because it's here at the house, & find a ride to the aiprort.
I've spent time with everyone who's had time to spend with me. I've made arrangements for my responsibilities here to be taken care of. I've gathered up all that goes with me. I've shored up some important ties with friends so we'll be able to stay connected while we're apart. I've confirmed my travel plans with everyone who needs confirmation. And, I have & continue to pray my heart out.
Funny thing is as much as I & others have done to prepare for this trip, I know that I cannot be totally ready. Who but God can know what will happen in Cambodia, or on the way to Cambodia, or here before I even head for Cambodia? Looking over past trips I realize a lot happened that I did not expect (not the least of which was my husband's heart failure!) & a few things I thought would happen never came to be. It is humanly impossible to be fully prepared for the future. My only hope is to trust Jesus. Whatever comes, He is prepared & has made provision for me.
I like knowing that I've done all I can do, that I am actively participating in God's plan. I also like knowing that all I can do is not all that needs doing, that God is actively participating too. It is this relationship that makes everything worth doing.
1/20/11
I THANK GOD FOR YOU:
Isaac Roe for moving in with Dad while I'm away!
Kelly O. Stanley for making & managing the blog!
Di Hester for those beautiful, brown babydolls & kindy supplies!
Rhonda Rogers for the financial donation!
The Sillerys for the embroidery floss!
The Hepburns for the friendship bracelet instruction book!
Deanna Young for offering herself as a liaison!
Toni McKinney for keeping me on track & in touch with our Bible memorization group!
Linda for donating hair do-da's for the house moms!
The Turner Family for faithful prayer & financial support!
Mike & Shirley Largent for unwavering enthusiasm & diligent prayer support!
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Small parts of a big plan
Family, friends & acquaintances frequently ask, "How can you do it?" Perhaps you're wondering too. Perhaps especially now, realizing this is not a one-time, thrill-seeking trip, but an all-out, whatever-it-costs lifestyle for us. The answer comes in three parts. First of all, I have very little responsibility in this. Secondly, the weight of my limited responsibility is carried by Jesus. Thirdly, I can't not do it.
It just looks like I'm doing a lot because I'm the one who gets to type blog entries. Yeah, seriously. The truth is I'm a very small part of a whole body of people in on this gig. I'm in partnership with lovely, loving people who make it possible for me to attempt my small part by doing their small parts. Some help prayerfully plan & prepare for the stays in Cambo. Some pray earnestly & diligently for me, my family, my Cambo siblings, the folks I work with in Cambo & the country as a whole. Some lend moral support, give encouragement & offer great advice via phone calls, email & periodic goodie boxes. Some stay in touch with my loved ones here (I do mean physically in touch; they actually come to the house) so they'll remember that they're loved & that their sacrifices are recognized. Some communicate with others to promote the work we're doing. Some invest money in materials & projects we have going in Cambo as well as my travel & keep thru collecting donations by a variety of means as well as contributing from their own resources. One turns my emails to her into a real blog. Some minister to me upon re-entry too. If I'm the face, they're the backbone in this body, to be sure.
My responsibility is to minister the generous grace & loving goodness of Jesus Christ to Cambodians. It's not my generosity, not my grace, not my love, not my goodness, but aaaaall His. I'm just a conduit between Jesus & people. He carries the lion's share of the ministry. All I have to do is remain devoted to & dependent upon Him; He does the rest. He's cool like that. And yeah, it is just that simple. Bearing in mind that simple is not synonomous with easy & the effects of being a conduit can really zap ya' sometimes. Hahahahahahaha!
The bottom line is I can't not do this. This is what Jesus wants me to do, I know that I know that I know. The real question for me is not how can I do this, but how can I say no to God? How can I deny Him anything? He is God. And, He's been sooooooooooo good to me. And, I am so crazy in love with Him. How can I not?
I think the most interesting thing about this question I'm so frequently asked is the question behind the question. I'm completely convinced that what those people are really asking is: Could I do it? Aaaaaand, the real question is not even could you, but only would you. Would you do your small part in partnership with a group of folks like yourself who're doing their small parts? If you're willing, God is able – guaranteed. It's written in blood.
12/30/10
HALLELUJAH!
~Dave is making a strong & speedy recovery!
~We have compassionate, enthusiastic, faithful supporters! (I am eternally grateful for the privilege of being your partner, you lil' dolly-dolls!)
~People are obeying God when He says, "Go hand Becky money." That's crazy-cool, eh?
~God's brought us to some EXCELLENT training materials to help us as He expands this branch of ministry. (All for You, God!)
~God does the sweetest little things to remind us of His affectionate attention toward us, doesn't He?
~I've experienced a very fruitful time of "review-recover-respond" in dealing with re-entry depression! That one gets a halle-tootin'-lujah!!
HELP!
~Yup, those treasured souls who snagged my bag & hi-jacked my ID. Keep on. For Jesus' sake, keep on.
~Ask the Lord of the harvest to call on more workers.
~Remember those "in the field" as post-holiday time can be an especially difficult time to be in there.
~Pray that I may be completely receptive as the Lord prepares me to return to Cambo-land.
~Please, join us in praying for the expansion I think God has planned for our hometown's involvement in foreign & domestic missions.
PERSONAL NOTES
Hey Peter, hope you're still reading & still arguing with yourself about what you read here. Most of all, I hope you're finding the Answer to your arguments. If you had a two-way line of communication here, we could "talk" about it all.
It just looks like I'm doing a lot because I'm the one who gets to type blog entries. Yeah, seriously. The truth is I'm a very small part of a whole body of people in on this gig. I'm in partnership with lovely, loving people who make it possible for me to attempt my small part by doing their small parts. Some help prayerfully plan & prepare for the stays in Cambo. Some pray earnestly & diligently for me, my family, my Cambo siblings, the folks I work with in Cambo & the country as a whole. Some lend moral support, give encouragement & offer great advice via phone calls, email & periodic goodie boxes. Some stay in touch with my loved ones here (I do mean physically in touch; they actually come to the house) so they'll remember that they're loved & that their sacrifices are recognized. Some communicate with others to promote the work we're doing. Some invest money in materials & projects we have going in Cambo as well as my travel & keep thru collecting donations by a variety of means as well as contributing from their own resources. One turns my emails to her into a real blog. Some minister to me upon re-entry too. If I'm the face, they're the backbone in this body, to be sure.
My responsibility is to minister the generous grace & loving goodness of Jesus Christ to Cambodians. It's not my generosity, not my grace, not my love, not my goodness, but aaaaall His. I'm just a conduit between Jesus & people. He carries the lion's share of the ministry. All I have to do is remain devoted to & dependent upon Him; He does the rest. He's cool like that. And yeah, it is just that simple. Bearing in mind that simple is not synonomous with easy & the effects of being a conduit can really zap ya' sometimes. Hahahahahahaha!
The bottom line is I can't not do this. This is what Jesus wants me to do, I know that I know that I know. The real question for me is not how can I do this, but how can I say no to God? How can I deny Him anything? He is God. And, He's been sooooooooooo good to me. And, I am so crazy in love with Him. How can I not?
I think the most interesting thing about this question I'm so frequently asked is the question behind the question. I'm completely convinced that what those people are really asking is: Could I do it? Aaaaaand, the real question is not even could you, but only would you. Would you do your small part in partnership with a group of folks like yourself who're doing their small parts? If you're willing, God is able – guaranteed. It's written in blood.
12/30/10
HALLELUJAH!
~Dave is making a strong & speedy recovery!
~We have compassionate, enthusiastic, faithful supporters! (I am eternally grateful for the privilege of being your partner, you lil' dolly-dolls!)
~People are obeying God when He says, "Go hand Becky money." That's crazy-cool, eh?
~God's brought us to some EXCELLENT training materials to help us as He expands this branch of ministry. (All for You, God!)
~God does the sweetest little things to remind us of His affectionate attention toward us, doesn't He?
~I've experienced a very fruitful time of "review-recover-respond" in dealing with re-entry depression! That one gets a halle-tootin'-lujah!!
HELP!
~Yup, those treasured souls who snagged my bag & hi-jacked my ID. Keep on. For Jesus' sake, keep on.
~Ask the Lord of the harvest to call on more workers.
~Remember those "in the field" as post-holiday time can be an especially difficult time to be in there.
~Pray that I may be completely receptive as the Lord prepares me to return to Cambo-land.
~Please, join us in praying for the expansion I think God has planned for our hometown's involvement in foreign & domestic missions.
PERSONAL NOTES
Hey Peter, hope you're still reading & still arguing with yourself about what you read here. Most of all, I hope you're finding the Answer to your arguments. If you had a two-way line of communication here, we could "talk" about it all.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Incoming
I thought I'd escaped the re-entry depression that's typical for incoming missionaries. I thought my atypical return was a sidestep around it. Nope. There I was in a christian bookstore the week before CHRISTmas & blam-o! I was overwhelmed by the contrast between the life I know in the United States of America & the life I know in the Kingdom of Cambodia. It was bound to come, I suppose. That's why we call it "typical," eh? I'm thankful to God for the delay tho'.
Now that my husband Dave is out of the hospital & well on his way to full recovery I am better able to cope with the depression & to give time to finding useful meaning & hopeful motivation in it. So, I pray & I ponder & I pout a little.
It is not at all unusual for incoming missionaries to wrestle with feelings of guilt & frustration over the abundance we have at our disposal at home, the abundance we take for granted, the abundance we demand, the abundance we waste. We measure our leisure spending such as eating out, going bowling or renting a movie in terms of needs that could be met in poverty-stricken areas we've visited. When I bought a package of socks for myself, I didn't reckon the price as $6, but as 12 kilos of rice. It's also not unusual, especially for short-term missionaries like myself, to make vows we will not keep after returning from an impoverished area. For instance, every missionary I've had contact with here in the States (maybe a dozen) has mentioned feeling guilty for having so much food available & many have vowed to never waste food again....but we do.
With these & similar thoughts bombarding our souls, it can be a challenge to socialize in the usual manner. It is difficult to muster genuine sympathy for a friend who gripes about having to go to three stores to find the game her child wants for CHRISTmas while remembering the infant who perished because his mama was too malnourished to produce enough milk to sustain him. It is hard to hear a friend explain that he simply cannot afford to donate to charities while he's paying $6 for a cup of coffee & a doughnut. Harder still, to fully enjoy the $6 cup of coffee & doughnut purchased by & for the missionary. (Combined, that's enough to feed 25 villagers, by the way.) And, on a personal note, I've had a change of heart about immigrants & aliens learning to speak english if they intend to live here in the U.S. Yeah, they should AND we should make it as easy as possible. Having lived in a foreign country, I promise you that every foreigner here wishes s/he could speak english at least as much as you wish they could.
These thoughts & comparisons & evaluations have to be prayerfully pondered & biblically balanced. It's very important to make an immediate move on the conclusions we come to too. The longer we put off action, the easier it becomes to put off action. Whether we try to gain from it or not, the depression fades & the frustration is forgotten. Before long, we're griping about minor inconveniences endured for trivial things & wasting resources (aka gifts from God) even as we commisserate about not having enough. The whole experience beomes little more than interesting stories to tell at parties.
So, I pray & I ponder & I pout a little. And I plan what to pack for the next trip. I have a plane ticket to Phnom Penh for 2 February.
Now that my husband Dave is out of the hospital & well on his way to full recovery I am better able to cope with the depression & to give time to finding useful meaning & hopeful motivation in it. So, I pray & I ponder & I pout a little.
It is not at all unusual for incoming missionaries to wrestle with feelings of guilt & frustration over the abundance we have at our disposal at home, the abundance we take for granted, the abundance we demand, the abundance we waste. We measure our leisure spending such as eating out, going bowling or renting a movie in terms of needs that could be met in poverty-stricken areas we've visited. When I bought a package of socks for myself, I didn't reckon the price as $6, but as 12 kilos of rice. It's also not unusual, especially for short-term missionaries like myself, to make vows we will not keep after returning from an impoverished area. For instance, every missionary I've had contact with here in the States (maybe a dozen) has mentioned feeling guilty for having so much food available & many have vowed to never waste food again....but we do.
With these & similar thoughts bombarding our souls, it can be a challenge to socialize in the usual manner. It is difficult to muster genuine sympathy for a friend who gripes about having to go to three stores to find the game her child wants for CHRISTmas while remembering the infant who perished because his mama was too malnourished to produce enough milk to sustain him. It is hard to hear a friend explain that he simply cannot afford to donate to charities while he's paying $6 for a cup of coffee & a doughnut. Harder still, to fully enjoy the $6 cup of coffee & doughnut purchased by & for the missionary. (Combined, that's enough to feed 25 villagers, by the way.) And, on a personal note, I've had a change of heart about immigrants & aliens learning to speak english if they intend to live here in the U.S. Yeah, they should AND we should make it as easy as possible. Having lived in a foreign country, I promise you that every foreigner here wishes s/he could speak english at least as much as you wish they could.
These thoughts & comparisons & evaluations have to be prayerfully pondered & biblically balanced. It's very important to make an immediate move on the conclusions we come to too. The longer we put off action, the easier it becomes to put off action. Whether we try to gain from it or not, the depression fades & the frustration is forgotten. Before long, we're griping about minor inconveniences endured for trivial things & wasting resources (aka gifts from God) even as we commisserate about not having enough. The whole experience beomes little more than interesting stories to tell at parties.
So, I pray & I ponder & I pout a little. And I plan what to pack for the next trip. I have a plane ticket to Phnom Penh for 2 February.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Re-entry reflections
Well, this has been a strange re-entry. I've been spared most of the usual re-entry culture shock by going straight from airport to hospital & staying there virtually the entire two months I've been here. There have been enough "shocks" to make me think tho'. Some shocks are minor & really quite pleasing while others are overwhelming & troubling.
It was a little shocking & a lot pleasing to land in the States. Those of us blessed with the passport of power (U.S. citizen passport) are given first-class treatment even if we arrive on a coach ticket. It was also a bit of a shock & a real tickle to realize I could understand every word every person spoke to me & could read every sign I passed. And, I cannot tell you how surprised & pleased I was to find bathroom tissue in every stall & towels or blow dryers at every sink. Our son's girlfriend laughingly reminded me that every stool comes stocked with tissue when she noticed me stuffing the napkins from our fast-food bags into my purse. A habit she recognized from her visit to Cambodia, for we all saved such "emergency paper" knowing we'd be glad of it next time we stepped up to a squatty potty.
I was overwhelmed at the obnoxiously ridiculous amount of advertising ev-e-ry-where & the ridiculously obnoxious content of advertising.ev-e-ry-where. If I were a newcomer to America I'd swear the country's slogan must be, "But wait! There's more!" More indeed! I was flabbergasted at the extra-large portions served at restaurants & aghast at the amount thrown away without a second thought. Not to mention the overwhelm I've experienced while looking at menus. Good gravy, there are dozens of options for every appetizer, snack, meal & dessert a person may order.
Just as I've become accustomed to hoarding paper napkins & limited food choices, I've become accustomed to people turning away from those in need. I've been overwhelmed with gratitude & happiness at how quickly the Church rallies to take care of one of her own here. We have been surrounded by people caring for our every need & convenience. The power of active compassion influences even those who do not directly benefit from it. Simply witnessing people care for others has an impact. Whether people are inspired or just puzzled by acts of mercy & generosity, they are thinking about it. They can't help but wonder why people behave so. We can put a name, the Name, on their wondering. We can tell them the why is actually a Who & His name is Jesus. What opportunity! What a great time to introduce people to Jesus & say, "But wait! There's more!"
12/13/10
Praise God for...
~those sweet souls who pray for others diligently!
~putting the ability to heal within the human body.
~modern medical technology & those who are brave enough to use it.
~modern communications technology that keeps us connected when we can't be face to face.
~always providing everything we need.
~His inexplicable peace!
Petition God for...
~the redemption of those dear souls who nabbed my bag & hijacked my ID.
~the revelation of Himself to others thru Dave's ordeal & recovery.
~"field hands," for the harvest is ripe.
About Dave:
Dave had two heart valves replaced successfully & is recovering. We very much appreciate the loving support we've received over the last month. We are thrilled with the opportunities the Body's taken to show Jesus to those who are serving in the hospitals we've been in. We are looking forward to enjoying Cambodia together as soon as possible.
It was a little shocking & a lot pleasing to land in the States. Those of us blessed with the passport of power (U.S. citizen passport) are given first-class treatment even if we arrive on a coach ticket. It was also a bit of a shock & a real tickle to realize I could understand every word every person spoke to me & could read every sign I passed. And, I cannot tell you how surprised & pleased I was to find bathroom tissue in every stall & towels or blow dryers at every sink. Our son's girlfriend laughingly reminded me that every stool comes stocked with tissue when she noticed me stuffing the napkins from our fast-food bags into my purse. A habit she recognized from her visit to Cambodia, for we all saved such "emergency paper" knowing we'd be glad of it next time we stepped up to a squatty potty.
I was overwhelmed at the obnoxiously ridiculous amount of advertising ev-e-ry-where & the ridiculously obnoxious content of advertising.ev-e-ry-where. If I were a newcomer to America I'd swear the country's slogan must be, "But wait! There's more!" More indeed! I was flabbergasted at the extra-large portions served at restaurants & aghast at the amount thrown away without a second thought. Not to mention the overwhelm I've experienced while looking at menus. Good gravy, there are dozens of options for every appetizer, snack, meal & dessert a person may order.
Just as I've become accustomed to hoarding paper napkins & limited food choices, I've become accustomed to people turning away from those in need. I've been overwhelmed with gratitude & happiness at how quickly the Church rallies to take care of one of her own here. We have been surrounded by people caring for our every need & convenience. The power of active compassion influences even those who do not directly benefit from it. Simply witnessing people care for others has an impact. Whether people are inspired or just puzzled by acts of mercy & generosity, they are thinking about it. They can't help but wonder why people behave so. We can put a name, the Name, on their wondering. We can tell them the why is actually a Who & His name is Jesus. What opportunity! What a great time to introduce people to Jesus & say, "But wait! There's more!"
12/13/10
Praise God for...
~those sweet souls who pray for others diligently!
~putting the ability to heal within the human body.
~modern medical technology & those who are brave enough to use it.
~modern communications technology that keeps us connected when we can't be face to face.
~always providing everything we need.
~His inexplicable peace!
Petition God for...
~the redemption of those dear souls who nabbed my bag & hijacked my ID.
~the revelation of Himself to others thru Dave's ordeal & recovery.
~"field hands," for the harvest is ripe.
About Dave:
Dave had two heart valves replaced successfully & is recovering. We very much appreciate the loving support we've received over the last month. We are thrilled with the opportunities the Body's taken to show Jesus to those who are serving in the hospitals we've been in. We are looking forward to enjoying Cambodia together as soon as possible.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Back in the U.S.
10/16/10
Hallelujah!
~We have a WONDERFUL new staff member!
~All the sibs have all they need to start school!
~ My visa is FINALLY valid & up-to-date!!
~ Short-term mission teams are coming in!
~ My khmer is expanding & improving! It's muuuuch easier to talk to people about Jesus when you can say His name in their language! (In case you're wondering, His name is pronounced "yay-soo."
~ Little Adam is thriving!
Help!
~ Nasty, nasty water has been thigh high at the boys' house, including IN the house, for a couple of days. The storms are way-cool, but sometimes the results are not. On the bright side tho', they have been able to catch some small fish with their mosquito netting.
~ A friend's 20 month old son has some fairly serious heath problems & we haven't the resources available to help him. Good doctors are scarce & expensive here.
~ I'm a little nervous about running the place while Ruth's away the first two weeks of November.
Personal Notes:
~ Isaac Roe, I miss you only a LOT. I love you, Son.
~ Gena Taylor, you're on my mind.
~ Lucy Carr, thank you for checking on my husband. You're a blessing, Sister!
~ Lora Sherfey, I heard you're still planning on coming. WOOOO-HOOOOO!
A friend phoned in the middle of the night to tell me that I needed to get back to Indiana as soon as possible because my husband was having serious heart trouble. She said the doctor told her my husband was "gravely ill," & that his loved ones should be called bedside immediately. I was at his side in no time. Upon my arrival, my husband Dave's health greatly improved to the amazement of the family & friends who'd been hoping I'd make it in time to say goodbye.
Infection has apparently damaged Dave's heart. The doctors' plan is to discharge Dave from St. Vincent's Heart Center 21 October & continue antibiotic treatment out-patient at our local hospital for four weeks. Once the infection is cleared up, tests will be performed to determine the extent of the damage & arrangements made to repair it.
We are counting on Jesus to strengthen Dave's heart & the hearts of my siblings in Cambodia. They're very used to individuals & short-term mission teams visiting for a week or two, so have developed the ability to make quick & loose connections with people. They've learned to guard their hearts; this is normal for them, even the youngest of them. As I've said before, God's grace has given my sibs & me an unusual connection. There's been an imprinting between us. Our connection is strong & deep. They've let their guard down for their "real sister." Consequently, my departure was/is heartbreaking & worrisome for them.
I promised my sibs that I will "come back home" as soon as I can. I reassured them by purchasing a round trip ticket. God willing, I will be able to send them email while I'm here too. I can also send text messages to the house moms for the children to read & respond to. Nevertheless, this is a very difficult time for them. And me.
It was terribly, terribly hard for me to leave them. Partly because of what our separation is doing to them & partly because of what our separation is doing to me. I, too, have learned to guard my heart (I think we all have) & I, too, have let my guard down. Lord Jesus, please strengthen my heart too.
Hallelujah!
~We have a WONDERFUL new staff member!
~All the sibs have all they need to start school!
~ My visa is FINALLY valid & up-to-date!!
~ Short-term mission teams are coming in!
~ My khmer is expanding & improving! It's muuuuch easier to talk to people about Jesus when you can say His name in their language! (In case you're wondering, His name is pronounced "yay-soo."
~ Little Adam is thriving!
Help!
~ Nasty, nasty water has been thigh high at the boys' house, including IN the house, for a couple of days. The storms are way-cool, but sometimes the results are not. On the bright side tho', they have been able to catch some small fish with their mosquito netting.
~ A friend's 20 month old son has some fairly serious heath problems & we haven't the resources available to help him. Good doctors are scarce & expensive here.
~ I'm a little nervous about running the place while Ruth's away the first two weeks of November.
Personal Notes:
~ Isaac Roe, I miss you only a LOT. I love you, Son.
~ Gena Taylor, you're on my mind.
~ Lucy Carr, thank you for checking on my husband. You're a blessing, Sister!
~ Lora Sherfey, I heard you're still planning on coming. WOOOO-HOOOOO!
A friend phoned in the middle of the night to tell me that I needed to get back to Indiana as soon as possible because my husband was having serious heart trouble. She said the doctor told her my husband was "gravely ill," & that his loved ones should be called bedside immediately. I was at his side in no time. Upon my arrival, my husband Dave's health greatly improved to the amazement of the family & friends who'd been hoping I'd make it in time to say goodbye.
Infection has apparently damaged Dave's heart. The doctors' plan is to discharge Dave from St. Vincent's Heart Center 21 October & continue antibiotic treatment out-patient at our local hospital for four weeks. Once the infection is cleared up, tests will be performed to determine the extent of the damage & arrangements made to repair it.
We are counting on Jesus to strengthen Dave's heart & the hearts of my siblings in Cambodia. They're very used to individuals & short-term mission teams visiting for a week or two, so have developed the ability to make quick & loose connections with people. They've learned to guard their hearts; this is normal for them, even the youngest of them. As I've said before, God's grace has given my sibs & me an unusual connection. There's been an imprinting between us. Our connection is strong & deep. They've let their guard down for their "real sister." Consequently, my departure was/is heartbreaking & worrisome for them.
I promised my sibs that I will "come back home" as soon as I can. I reassured them by purchasing a round trip ticket. God willing, I will be able to send them email while I'm here too. I can also send text messages to the house moms for the children to read & respond to. Nevertheless, this is a very difficult time for them. And me.
It was terribly, terribly hard for me to leave them. Partly because of what our separation is doing to them & partly because of what our separation is doing to me. I, too, have learned to guard my heart (I think we all have) & I, too, have let my guard down. Lord Jesus, please strengthen my heart too.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Doin' the dance
Some missionaries reject the surrounding culture altogether while others try to blend in completely. I prayerfully decided to waffle. Hahahahaha! That is, altho' I'm learning to "do the dance" here, now & then I throw in a new step. 'Course there are times I miss a step too.My ministry partner Jane Truax loves the account I gave her of dealing with an old woman who was hassling my brothers about the way Ruth treated her during a dispute over rent payment (Ruth is definitely a reject-the-culture kind of missionary). That was a time I had to do the dance & had to do it very carefully. My brother Boonie, in the photo, bravely agreed to translate my words as I demonstrated all the proper body language. It was a complicated dance, but I got thru it without laughing or being spit on, thank God. Totally Cambo culture for that one....until I ended the dance with a dip. Hahahahaha! I was just so happy that peace had been restored that I reached out & rubbed her arms & even hugged her. The brother with me nearly passed out thinking I just blew the whole deal we worked so hard to achieve. Hahahahaha! Thanks be to God, the old woman received my behavior with delight & even kissed my head.
Then there was the time I stopped a trash picker to love on the filthy baby he was carrying amongst the rubbish he collected in his cart. Trash pickers are not considered people, but trash pushing trash. (I know, I know. Really honks me off too.) Not only did I make eye contact with the man & smile at him, I played with the child & even kissed her lice-infested head. Gave the guy my water bottle too. That was a totally freestyle dance there; just moving to the rhythm of my spirit. The small crowd that gathered to stare was aghast, but the man & baby smiled, & I think Jesus did too.
When one of my sisters, an older, thought it would be "sooooo nice" to have a western mom take her shopping in what Americans call a mall, I gave her a taste of it. Took her into one of the city's largest & nicest markets (like a gigantic, old-fashioned department store), headed straight for the undergarments, & embarrassed the stuffin' out of her. Hahahahahaha! That there was some dirty dancing. Hahahahahaha! Before you jump me for that dirty trick, please know I behaved very well as I bought her a nice pair of shorts in another section of the market. Srey Peck loves the shorts, but as for wishing for an American mom, she'd rather sit out that dance! Hahahahahaha!
Sometimes I have to show someone else how to do a new step too. Sopea (pronounced "soapy") is a new Cambo staff helping at the girls' house & the team house. [THANK YOU, JESUS!!!] She's a living doll who loves the children & works diligently to run their household well. In customary fashion Sopea showed her respect for my authority (When we met she assumed I am in charge because I'm white. Sheesh.) she offered me a chair & knelt in front of me, face toward the ground with her hands above her forehead, palms together. I quickly snatched her up by the elbow so we were both standing & drew up her chin so we were face to face. Before I could speak she said, "Oooh so sorry. I afraid Madame not like me." I held her face with both hands making her look me in the eyes & said, "Sopea, I love you. I am very, very happy you are here. I thank you! You must never bow to me. Never! We are sisters. We work together. I don't want to see the top of your head ever again!" We both cried a little & embraced a long time. I still have to lift her chin occassionally because the new step still feels a little awkward to her, but she's getting the hang of our little tango.
I missed a step just this week. Still feel bad about it too. Lyn is a moto driver who picks me up early in the morning Monday-Friday for breakfast & house checks. Lyn informed me (thru my bilingual brother) that he would like to go see his family out of town from Friday night to Sunday night. Very dramatically I said, "Three days gone?! Oh no! What will I do? I will miss you too much!" Lyn immediately apologized & promised to stay in the city forever. It would be hilarious if he weren't totally serious. I forgot that Cambo's don't do sarcasm, rhetorical questions, open criticism, nor a host of other communications common to westerners. That was some fancy footwork: missed a step, stepped on Lyn's toes & put my foot in my mouth all in one quick move. Ugh! It took some doing, but Lyn agreed to visit his family, believed I still like him, & trusted I still want him to drive for me. ... He did call me Friday evening to ask if he could leave at 6pm tho'. Sigh.
As far as I'm concerned for Cambodia, the dance I'm most looking forward to is the one we'll do when we "dance upon injustice." The peacemakers, the trash pickers, the orphans, the oppressed, the meek & one wild-footed barang are really gonna' cut a rug!
10/16/10
Hallelujah!
~We have a WONDERFUL new staff member!
~All the sibs have all they need to start school!
~ My visa is FINALLY valid & up-to-date!!
~ Short-term mission teams are coming in!
~ My khmer is expanding & improving! It's muuuuch easier to talk to people about Jesus when you can say His name in their language! (In case you're wondering, His name is pronounced "yay-soo."
~ Little Adam is thriving!
Help!
~ Nasty, nasty water has been thigh high at the boys' house, including IN the house, for a couple of days. The storms are way-cool, but sometimes the results are not. On the bright side tho', they have been able to catch some small fish with their mosquito netting.
~ A friend's 20 month old son has some fairly serious heath problems & we haven't the resources available to help him. Good doctors are scarce & expensive here.
~ I'm a little nervous about running the place while Ruth's away the first two weeks of November.
Personal Notes:
~ Isaac Roe, I miss you only a LOT. I love you, Son.
~ Gena Taylor, you're on my mind.
~ Lucy Carr, thank you for checking on my husband. You're a blessing, Sister!
~ Lora Sherfey, I heard you're still planning on coming. WOOOO-HOOOOO!
Friday, October 8, 2010
Adjustments
I've been here just over 90 days now. Sometimes it seems like I left the States days ago & sometimes it feels like forever ago. In reviewing the past few months, I'm taken by the adjustments I've made with & without effort & the things I can't seem to adjust to even with the greatest efforts & most fervent prayer. I'm also surprised at what I miss about living in the US. I miss complete silence & complete darkness. I'd really like to have either one for just 5 minutes. I miss the feel of carpeting under my feet sometimes. And, of all things, I miss cheese. Whoda' guessed?
Yes, yes, of course my husband & loved ones most of all, but that really should go without saying. Besides, if I say too much about it I get teary.
I've become so accustomed to tropical weather that I now refer to anything under 75*F as "jacket weather." When I'm hungry, I usually crave lumpy rice. It takes conscious effort to speak in complete english sentences & I've learned enough Khmer, the language of Cambodia, that I think it. Squatty potties don't phase me. In fact, I'm surprised to see a regular toilet outside the house & feel a little funny peeing so far off the ground. I'm so totally adjusted to cool tap water that the one time I had hot water, I had to turn it down to shower comfortably. I'm so used to being called "b'KEY" that the last time someone pronounced my name correctly, she had to call to me about 5 times before I realized I was being addressed. I don't smell the rotting trash anymore & the food smells that used to gag me stir my appetite. I feel weird when I'm with more than two people & no one's touching me ... & I instinctively touch of one of them. Hahahahaha! 45mph is frighteningly fast, but moving vehicles brushing my feet (dangling sidesaddle on a motorcyle) don't even provoke the slightest twitch. I don't have to consciously convert reil, Cambodian currency, to dollars & can count reil change from US dollars as fast as the shopkeepers (caught 'em ripping me off a few times too!). Believe it or not, I've realized Cambodians are right- barang (foreigners) do indeed smell bad. Hahahahahaha! Why, I even truly enjoy the Cambodian coffee I couldn't stomach when I got here & know the best places to get it.
On the other hand, I still don't like the drink most places try to pass off as western coffee. I still get teary eyed over beggars eventho' I see one about every 5 minutes when I'm outside the house. The storm I'm enjoying now is as fabulously thrilling as the first one I experienced (Man, I hate to see rain season end). I'm still a little put off by people picking their noses while they speak to me. And, I'm still taken aback every time the electricity, or internet, or phone service goes out. I'm still surprised when I call out "Juck sow, sohm!" (open the gate, please) at the sibs' houses & a crowd of people run at me squealing with the joy.
I seriously doubt I'll ever get over the fact that God brought a middle-aged housewife who wouldn't go more than 25 minutes away from home alone to the other side of the world to demonstrate a bit of His incomprehensible love.
10/8/10
Praise God for...
~laughter. It's a sanity saver sometimes.
~those big honkin' storms. They're still AWESOME!
~love that lives beyond emotion & intellect.
~those who will share the little they have with those who have less than little.
~the new squatty potty that convinced villagers God is a good & loving God!!
Petition God for...
~the salvation of those precious thieves. They are worth praying for till Jesus comes!
~His favor upon the newbie, a rejected 1month-old Ruth named Adam.
~mercy & the grace of salvation upon Adam's mommy.
~me to be granted the courage to keep loving wholeheartedly. It hurts sometimes...real bad like.
Special request! Please pray with us during the wicked holiday of appeasing damned souls & evil spirits. We can feel the weight of evil increasing & are seeing the influence in people. The holiday lasts two weeks with the biggest ceremonies being held this weekend, 8-10 October.
Personal Notes:
~Isaac Roe, I love you more now than ever before.
~Lisa Turner, the pain is about experiencing love from Michael's side of the story now (ref the book you gave me).
~Nancy Rodenbeck, FK. :o)
~Everyone, internet, phone & electricity is skitchy again. Sorry for the delay in communications!
Yes, yes, of course my husband & loved ones most of all, but that really should go without saying. Besides, if I say too much about it I get teary.
I've become so accustomed to tropical weather that I now refer to anything under 75*F as "jacket weather." When I'm hungry, I usually crave lumpy rice. It takes conscious effort to speak in complete english sentences & I've learned enough Khmer, the language of Cambodia, that I think it. Squatty potties don't phase me. In fact, I'm surprised to see a regular toilet outside the house & feel a little funny peeing so far off the ground. I'm so totally adjusted to cool tap water that the one time I had hot water, I had to turn it down to shower comfortably. I'm so used to being called "b'KEY" that the last time someone pronounced my name correctly, she had to call to me about 5 times before I realized I was being addressed. I don't smell the rotting trash anymore & the food smells that used to gag me stir my appetite. I feel weird when I'm with more than two people & no one's touching me ... & I instinctively touch of one of them. Hahahahaha! 45mph is frighteningly fast, but moving vehicles brushing my feet (dangling sidesaddle on a motorcyle) don't even provoke the slightest twitch. I don't have to consciously convert reil, Cambodian currency, to dollars & can count reil change from US dollars as fast as the shopkeepers (caught 'em ripping me off a few times too!). Believe it or not, I've realized Cambodians are right- barang (foreigners) do indeed smell bad. Hahahahahaha! Why, I even truly enjoy the Cambodian coffee I couldn't stomach when I got here & know the best places to get it.
On the other hand, I still don't like the drink most places try to pass off as western coffee. I still get teary eyed over beggars eventho' I see one about every 5 minutes when I'm outside the house. The storm I'm enjoying now is as fabulously thrilling as the first one I experienced (Man, I hate to see rain season end). I'm still a little put off by people picking their noses while they speak to me. And, I'm still taken aback every time the electricity, or internet, or phone service goes out. I'm still surprised when I call out "Juck sow, sohm!" (open the gate, please) at the sibs' houses & a crowd of people run at me squealing with the joy.
I seriously doubt I'll ever get over the fact that God brought a middle-aged housewife who wouldn't go more than 25 minutes away from home alone to the other side of the world to demonstrate a bit of His incomprehensible love.
10/8/10
Praise God for...
~laughter. It's a sanity saver sometimes.
~those big honkin' storms. They're still AWESOME!
~love that lives beyond emotion & intellect.
~those who will share the little they have with those who have less than little.
~the new squatty potty that convinced villagers God is a good & loving God!!
Petition God for...
~the salvation of those precious thieves. They are worth praying for till Jesus comes!
~His favor upon the newbie, a rejected 1month-old Ruth named Adam.
~mercy & the grace of salvation upon Adam's mommy.
~me to be granted the courage to keep loving wholeheartedly. It hurts sometimes...real bad like.
Special request! Please pray with us during the wicked holiday of appeasing damned souls & evil spirits. We can feel the weight of evil increasing & are seeing the influence in people. The holiday lasts two weeks with the biggest ceremonies being held this weekend, 8-10 October.
Personal Notes:
~Isaac Roe, I love you more now than ever before.
~Lisa Turner, the pain is about experiencing love from Michael's side of the story now (ref the book you gave me).
~Nancy Rodenbeck, FK. :o)
~Everyone, internet, phone & electricity is skitchy again. Sorry for the delay in communications!
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