Now we return to your regularly scheduled blog entry.
"Great account of Jame," you say, "but how in the world did you get adopted by him?" I'm very happy to tell you. I was truly at least as stunned as you probably are. I've been involved in a host of strange stuff, but being adopted by a 38 year old stranger in a foreign country certainly makes the top 5 on the list.
Ruth called Jame to be the team driver for the group I came with in May. I first met him when some of the group wanted me to accompany them on a trip to one of the markets for a little souvenir shopping. Upon arrival at the market I told Jame that I would wait with him in the tuk-tuk while the others shopped. He drove around the corner where we sat at a small cafe table drinking bottles of water in front of a fan. The conversation began in the usual Cambo way, "What is your name?" "Where are you from?" "How long you stay in Cambodia?" After I answered the greeting questions, Jame looked at me for a few moments, then boldly announced with a bigger than life smile "You are my mom. You are my real mom."
The astonished expression on my face must have clued him that I needed more explanation before I could participate in his joy. He explained, "Since I am 3 years old, I pray for a real mom who will love me. Today da Fadda said, 'Today look & you will see your real mom.' So, I see you. I see dat when we come to market you not look, 'I wan' dis, I wan' dat, I buy all tings.' I see you are looking at da people. An' you don' look at dem bad. You really see dem. An' I see you tears. I see da tears in you heart. I close my eyes behind my sunglasses so no one sees & I pray in my heart so no one hears, 'Fadda! Really!? Dis is my mom!?' & da Fadda says, 'Yeeeesssss.' So, you are my real mom."
My first reaction was plain ol' amazement. I was just got that a stranger would so suddenly & so assuredly make such a whacky announcement. My second reaction was suspicion. Yes, he was right about what I was looking at from behind my sunglasses, but soooooo many people in this country are looking for a foreigner to lay out wads of cash for the sake of pity, I could not reasonably trust his claim as godly discernment. (I have since discovered that Jame has one of the keenest gifts of discernment I have ever even heard of.) I asked him a few questions trying to get a handle on his angle, then told him I would have to pray about it. My lack of belief did not diminish his enthusiasm at all....not even a little bit. He simply said, "Gooood. Da Fadda will tell you," then went on & on about how happy he was to have me for his mom & how much he would do for me to prove he is a good son & how I'm the best mom in the world for him. If nothing else, the guy's got tenacity, to be sure.
Upon returning to Ruth's after the shopping spree, Jame touched my arm & asked what time I get up in the morning & what I would like to do the following day. I laughed telling him that I rise about 4:30am & I like to drink coffee first thing. I thought sure that would put him off. I was wrong. He told me that the earliest we could get coffee is about 7:00am & he would be waiting for me. Sure enough, 6:45am I opened the driveway's gate to find him standing beside his tuk-tuk with that same bigger than life smile, "Good morning, Mom! Coffee?"
True to my word, I prayed about Jame & his kooky claim for three days & nights. From day one I sensed God's approval, but it just seemed so crazy I could scarcely consider the idea, let alone surrender to it. On the third night God's grace (God doing for me what I cannot do) blew me away. In prayer, I was overwhelmed with a real motherly love for Jame. Now, if you're a parent, you know what I'm talking about. A parent's love is not merely a thought or an emotion, rather it is actually a state of being. It's inexpressible love that permeates one's whole heart-intellect, emotion, will & very character. It's not something you do, it's something you are.
I thought surely the heat, or the food, or the noise, or something had gotten to me & was making me loopy. I went to Ruth & laid out the story & what I was experiencing knowing she would lovingly knock some sense into me. In her usual gentle way, she looked at me with glistening eyes & spoke softly in her sweet Ozzie accent, "Aaaaw, Bec. God does stuff like that. Isn't He good?" Now, Ruth is so close to God, I wouldn't doubt that she knows His shoe size & favorite song. I trust her completely, so her response was just enough confirmation for me to totally give in to the astonishing thing God was working in me. I couldn't love Jame more if my name were on his birth certificate.
6:45am next morning I opened the gate with my own bigger than life smile & said, "Good morning, Son! How are you?" Actually, I said, "Good morning, Son! How are yiff," because I was taken into an off-the-ground bear hug as soon as "Son" passed my lips.
Because of the way Jame has been treated by other "moms" he's had (his "first mom" & the "house moms" at the orphanage), he's been terribly worried that I will stop loving him & abandon our relationship. He's confessed to me innumerable times that sometimes he's afraid to go to sleep because if it's his last day to have me as a mom, he wants the day to last as long as possible. He's never had real love thru another human being. Never. Every single person he has ever loved has suddenly died or otherwise forsaken him. Dave & I have prayed & prayed for a way to convince him of our unconditional, unending love for him. He doesn't "get" family love because he's never had it. Praise the Lord for responding to our pleas! Depending on the Spirit for words, I wrote a short love note to Jame the other night, which he proudly calls a contract, &, glory to God, it has convinced him that I understand what kind of mom he prayed for & that I truly am that kind of mom-a real mom who really loves him. And, no, I'm not telling you what the note says. Hahahahaha! I will tell you that we call it the "What is true contract" & I included Philippians 4:8 telling him that when the bad thoughts come he can re-read the contract to know what is true. Not only does he read it at night, he keeps it in his wallet where he can touch it frequently thru'out the day....with that bigger than life smile I so dearly love.
I love this Becky! My heart has been stolen...I want to come to Cambodia! Jame sounds like an amazing person, and this story brought tears to my eyes, and joy to my heart.
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